In an exclusive essay penned for New York Magazine, the supermodel tells it all about her struggles, exploitation and reveals being sexually assaulted by a well-known photographer
Models are far too many times taken as the couture-wearing, runway-strutting, high-flying glamazons that have the world at their heels but no one notices the darkness that lurks behind the glamour.
While their picture perfect lives on Instagram might be all we ever see, there’s a lot more that goes on behind these beautiful faces once the cameras shut off. Shedding light on the perils of the glamourous world is international supermodel Emily Ratajkowski who has penned an emotional and inspiring essay for an American publication the New York Magazine.
In 2019 Emily was sued by a paparazzo for posting her own picture on her page. “I was in fact being sued, for posting a photo of myself on Instagram that had been taken by a paparazzo. I learned the next day that despite being the unwilling subject of the image, I could not control what happened to it,” she wrote.
“I’ve become more familiar with seeing myself through the paparazzi’s lenses than I am with looking at myself in the mirror,” she further added.
As she recalled the several incidents in her modelling career including when she had to buy back her own images to when some of her more intimate pictures were released over the internet by an ex-boyfriend, Emily recalled photographer Jonathan Leder of sexually assaulting her during a photoshoot at his home in 2012.
Writing about the event, Emily recalled that her then agent had her travel to Leder’s flat in New York, for an unpaid photoshoot for a magazine called Darius. The shoot required an overnight stay.
“He never looked at me directly when he picked her up from the bus stop,” she said adding that she felt intimidated and nervous for the fact she had just started her career and he was an established photographer. “The more disinterested he seemed,” she says, “the more I wanted to prove myself worthy of his attention. I knew that impressing these photographers was an important part of building a good reputation.” Much to her surprise, she was shooting a lingerie spread but wasn’t informed of the same earlier.
“I’d been taught that it was important to earn a reputation as hardworking and easygoing,” she added remembering accepting a few drinks from Leder during the shoot. After shooting the lingerie, Emily claims Leder asked to shoot her naked which she remembers as being an uncomfortable experience.
After writing about the photoshoot during which also claimed Leder made disrespectful comments against her, Emily details about the night she was sexually assaulted.
“Most of what came next was a blur except for the feeling. I don’t remember kissing, but I do remember his fingers suddenly being inside of me,” she says. “I brought my hand instinctively to his wrist and pulled his fingers out of me with force. I didn’t say a word.” She wrote that she “never told anyone about what happened and I tried not to think about it”.
However, the photographer has denied the allegations through his publishing company, “her allegations are too tawdry and childish to respond to,” he was quoted.
“You do know who we are talking about, right?” he is quoted as saying. “This is the girl that was naked in Treats! magazine, and bounced around naked in the Robin Thicke video at that time. You really want someone to believe she was a victim?”
